What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
my liver is dry heaving
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
