last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
