they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
