9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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