My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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