A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
