tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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