I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
