The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
