Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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