don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
