pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
