And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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