did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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