hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize