Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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