xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
