Nicole vs. Life
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
