i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
