Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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