I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
