girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
