thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
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