**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
