forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
