i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
