You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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