You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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