The maid of honor just puked.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Let's paint friendship bongs
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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