He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
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