I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
