i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
