Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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