Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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