Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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