HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
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