My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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