we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize