he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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