I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
