take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize