Ambien. No doubt about it.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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