so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
