she was so not down for the gang bang
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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