I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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