oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
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