Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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