I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Just cropdusted the office
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
