Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
