I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
