I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
