Do you still have your period?
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Dicks are not precious.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
