You smell like a Billy Joel song
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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