I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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