Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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