All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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