My nipple is on Facebook.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
