it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
