Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I need to stop coming to work sober
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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