Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
