Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
