these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize