your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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