The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
