Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Randomize
