She said her name was "party"
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
