I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
