i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
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