is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Say something about gay babies.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
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She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
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I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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