Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
