I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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